Bouncing Baby Pumpkin makes me smile for a little while

Today is the last day of August. Where did it go? Geez, I better not blink or I might miss September! Yesterday while meandering in my backyard I decided to take a look at my sad little pumpkin vines which have produced pretty orange flowers, but no pumpkins. Well, I found one. Yup, a cute little green pumpkin growing all by his lonesome far from where I had planted the seeds. I hope it makes it. I would love to have a big orange pumpkin for Halloween. Actually, I might not have the heart to carve it. I mean it is my first pumpkin that I grew in my garden ever.
I'm going to have more coffee and keep myself quietly busy today. (I may also take my stronger pain reliever because I'm in a nasty RA flare, still since Wednesday.) I'm still feeling so sad for Mo and sweet Ubee, but all anyone can do when someone suffers a loss is to let them know we care and understand. Losing someone we love is not something to get to "Get Over" it's more like something we get through slowly, never forgetting the love we shared.
Blessed Be

Goodbye precious baby

The sweet little kitten that Mo from It's a Bog Eat Blog and Purrchance to Dream has crossed the rainbow bridge to the other side. I am so sad. I became so caught up in what Mo was going through with little Ubee and I really thought he would make it. I'm so grateful that he had Mo to show him love and care before he passed. It's brought up all of the pain I'm still harboring at losing my Tookie
Sometimes life really Bites!

Time flies while I stand still

Yesterday I had, counting my daughter, 7 teenagers in my house and I fed all of them. The house is still standing, but I'm pretty wiped out. Snacks, soda, video games, music and food seemed to be all they needed to keep them happy. They had all attended orientation at school that morning, so I knew I was due for a stampede anytime after noon.
I'm not ready for the whole school year routine to begin again: Making 2 lunches (yes I make husband's too) playing drill sergeant to get her moving and out the door in time, worrying that she didn't get enough sleep, or eat enough breakfast. I know I'll miss it all when she graduates. I think I just prefer the more relaxed non-schedule oriented vibe of Summer. Well, at least with an empty house, (except for kitties of course, who cause me no stress, usually) I will be able to get back to writing without distractions. Sigh... Is it just me, or does time begin to move faster as we age?

Ghosties and stormy weather

Well, the sun did come out for a bit today and it got nice and warm. I love warm weather. Be prepared for lots of whining when winter hits. Now it's getting kinda wonky ,weather wise. There's storm warnings all around us and we could get hit with a nasty one that's near Chicago. It will have to cross Lake Michigan, so we'll see how bad it will be. Mo at It's a Blog Eat blog World might get some bad weather. Batten down the hatches and cuddle your kitty babies, Mo! :) This scary weather has me thinking about ghost stories. We live in an area called Heritage Hill. Lots of old homes; ours was built in 1891 and there are many that are much older and much more elegant. We're talking HUGE with libraries and long winding "Gone With the Wind " staircases. Several of them have been documented as haunted by a local author who wrote a book about hauntings in our area. Every October we have the HH Home tours and I have no doubt that many of these homes are haunted. I'm not a Ghost Hunter or a Most Haunted member, (love those shows) but there have been a few times when on these tours I've felt a heaviness, a sense of being watched, like a "Why are these people in my house?" feeling. Sometimes it's been downright oppressive. Once, we were going up into the attic of one of the homes and my husband swore he saw an old rocking chair rock by itself, ever so lightly. Now my husband is a Vulcan ;) so for him to admit to seeing something like that is pretty credible. Last year we toured through a big Victorian and I felt a "tug" towards the walk in pantry and sensed it was the former maid's stomping grounds. Upstairs there was a playroom that just gave me the wiggins: creepy dolls and an old rocking horse. Then came the maid's former bedroom. They had discovered her uniform and even some of her under things like stockings and pantaloons, you know, her unmentionables!:0 They had laid them out on the bed and I swore in my head I heard a voice say, "She doesn't like her underclothes exposed for people to see!" I could feel her embarrassment, poor thing. I told my husband and he reverted to Vulcan and felt I was being sensitive. I don't know. Like Mulder on the X Files ,I want to believe.

Clouds ,clouds go away

I have a rather sad, gloomy emotional cloud hanging over me. I'm trying to get on board with the idea that we are here to learn and experience to perfect our souls. I mean it would make life more bearable to know that after we're done here we graduate and go Home to eternal peace and happiness. But, animals don't need to learn and their sweet souls are perfect to begin with. Why do they have to suffer and deal with so much crap? Why do children suffer and die? What do they learn? I know what I "learned" from my childhood; people are bad and even someone who's supposed to love you can hurt you in ways that can last long past childhood.
It has made me stronger in many ways. I know I don't deserve to have cruel people in my life. I know how not to parent. I'm a darn good mom. I love to take care of my family; humans and kitties, and when I can't help them with their troubles I feel terrible. I read about other people, clearly good, decent people who are hurting and my stomach twists in knots. I wish I had the answers to all of life's why's. The weather man said the golden August sun will come out tomorrow, so maybe it will be a better day. I'd like to have something fun to talk about, so maybe that will inspire me.
Sweet and peaceful dreams...

Monday,Monday Blah

It's been raining since Saturday night and it's been very chilly. I don't like it. Sure rain is good for the plants, but does it have to be so cold? August is supposed to be a warm, sunny, golden month. On a positive note; I found The Dresden Files dvd set yesterday. I've watched one episode so far while my daughter slept in. I plan to savor it seeing as @%$# SciFi canceled the series. Why? Jim Butcher is a best selling author and his Dresden Files books have a huge following. I don't understand networks and their choices. I'm always the one to find unique shows that don't go with the mainstream and then the ax falls and that's that. Thank the stars for dvds.

Kitchen "magick" and other things

I've been busy. Yesterday was stay at home and cook day, so I made roast chicken and roasted yukon gold potatoes. I used lots of rosemary and garlic on both and dinner turned out quite well. After dinner I made a huge batch of chocolate chip cookies; something that my daughter had been jonesing for since earlier in the week. The trick is real butter and a bag and a half of chocolate chips. I use the traditional semi sweet and half a bag of dark chocolate chips. I also use dark brown sugar. My daughter is naturally thin (Grrr) and can eat her weight in them.
Today I'm extra sore and stiff and the cool air and rain isn't helping. That's the nasty thing about RA; Things that used to come so easily, like baking and gardening now take a toll on damaged swollen joints. But doing things for my family is important so I won't give in to this disease. I will however take it easier the rest of the weekend (try to anyway) and read and maybe get some writing done. I finished Devil May Cry and have now started Sex and the Psychic Witch. It's a cute light paranormal romance, perfect for a rainy weekend. Time to relax

Parental bragging

Where did the week go? I must have slept through Wednesday. My daughter asked me if I ever say anything about her in my blog. I think it amuses her that I actually have one. I'm not exactly the computer/tech guru of the household. I will tell this about her: She's wicked smart and I'm not saying that because I'm her mom. Her intelligence is actually a bit intimidating to those who don't know her. She's a very, very good artist. She occasionally posts her work on Deviant Art. One her most recent pictures is of Scott Weiland of Stone Temple Pilots (now Velvet Revolver). She's learning computer programming and has an interest in video game design, but she's not thinking too far into the future career wise. That's ok with me. She's only 16, no rush. So there, I said something about you sweetie. You're a brilliant, lovely girl and now the blogosphere knows it. :)

Do you believe in angels?

Yesterday started off with a dead car battery and ended with finding a gift from a guardian angel. My husband was lucky that the battery died in our driveway, at least he wasn't stranded somewhere. It involved missing a day of work and a cab ride to the auto parts store. He had to use the credit card and take money out of the bank for the cab ride. After he came home and installed the new battery we decided to use the remaining afternoon to run some errands; The printer was out of ink and my daughter wanted to take advantage of a sale at the office supply store. (folders for 10 cents a piece!) But, yes more $$$ was spent and hubby was becoming cranky.
The day was warm and we wanted ice cream and that's when we found our gift. Actually my husband found it on the ground. I won't say how much it was, but we did look around and waited a bit to see if any one was looking for it. Weirdly, it seemed like we had become invisible to everyone around us. A moment of clarity struck me. This was meant for us. We've had more than our fair (or unfair) share of difficulties and now we were getting a little help. Okay, I can handle that. :) It was strange how nobody there seemed to notice us after we got our ice cream. We had to help ourselves to the napkins behind the counter because the employees had already busied themselves elsewhere. Nobody ahead of us, nobody around us. Last night I lit a guardian angel candle that I bought on impulse Saturday. It was only around 2 bucks, but I'm glad I have it. I thanked our angels and burned the candle past midnight.

~ I wish blessings to all who need them~

Weekend stuff

I bought Devil May Cry this weekend. Sherrilyn Kenyon is one of my favorite authors and she's at her usual level of exellence with this book. Bonus: it was on sale at the big box store we shop at for around 5 dollars off the original price. Not bad for a hardcover. ;) We also went to the nursery to get some end of season plants to fill in some bare spots. Hibiscus, Daylilly, Artemesia, and some little Violas. The artemesia and daylilly are white and will go in what I'd like to be a moon garden. The violas went in a planter and the big showoff hibiscus went in the front garden. I also managed to get a little writing in last night, but I was so tired that I'm sure most of it didn't make sense. If I get back to it tomorrow I'll probably have to do a bit of tweaking. I know I did too much physically yesterday, because all of my joints are throbbing and of course the pain is nearly perfect symetry. I'm hoping tomorrow I can make time to relax and do that inner peace searching I think I need. Oh, and I'll have to catch up on all those cool blogs I love to read. I need those with my coffee like I need cream. Nighty night all.

I want to be alone (sorta, kinda)

I love my family ,really, but I really need some quiet time. Since my beloved kitty passed, I haven't really had the house to my self. (maybe that's good, I don't know.)
Daughter's summer break started right after and hubby's been taking a lot of vacation days. I think I'm ready to be left alone for the day. I could write, read, watch dvd's that I like without derisive commentary from the peanut gallery. (Buffy and Firefly are not "lame" and Joss Wheden is a genius.) Maybe I could just take a long nap, or instead of crying softly I could grieve as loudly as I need to over losing my best friend. Maybe along with some alone time I also need a little understanding. I don't know... It's just between the rheumatoid arthritis flares and all this heavy sadness, I feel like something has to break, and I think it could be me. I have my good days, but I feel like they're not genuine, like I'm putting on a happy face because my family doesn't want to deal with anything else. I think when I finally get some quiet time I'll light some lavender and rose candles and ask for some inner peace from Mother God.
~Blessings~

Out of the broomcloset

I was going to post this yesterday and label it "Witchy Wednesday", but it just didn't work out that way. Oh well, so much for alliteration. I consider myself a witch. I don't belong to a coven or attend Sabbat meetings. I do light candles of specific colors or scents for the day of the week or certain spells. I consider spells to be more like a petition of intent, a prayer if you will, to the creator energy (God/Mother God). I have a very informal cottage garden of plants that I planted knowing their magickal correspondents. I plant trumpet lillies just because I love their scent and I think they're pretty. Same for roses. I have cats and two of them happen to be black, but I didn't seek them out, they came to me. ;) Halloween is my favorite holiday. How can you not love the colors and the hello, free candy? I am a peaceful, animal loving, tree hugger. I follow the rule of harm none and that the entire universe contains energy ,both positive and negative. Harness the positive, stay away from the negative. No dogma, no fire and brimstone, just live, learn what you can and then when the physical expires, go back to where your energy or spirit flows free and unencumbered. Hey, it works for me.

Blessings to you.

Mundane Monday Musings

I'm not a very dedicated blogger am I? I admire people who have something new to share every day. I'm not one of them. I worked on my latest manuscript the other night. I know where I want to go with it, but turning it into something that resembles a cohesive story is proving to be difficult. It's funny how I can have the entire book play out in my head, but getting it on paper takes forever. I write in longhand (first draft) before typing it out in Word.
I read a lot of writer's blogs for inspiration and it's nice to see that they deal with the same day to day family issues while trying to write that I do. Of course they are much more prolific than I am too. Speaking of writers, the new month means new books being released by some of my favorite authors. I'll add them to my books list. I've also heard that the 1st season of The Dresden Files will be out on DVD. Mmm... Paul Blackthorn; be still my heart :) (He plays Harry on the SciFi series) Well, back to Mundania for me. Bye!

Rambling away the afternoon

I have decided daughter can keep her guitar hero. She'll figure out life's lessons on her own and losing a video game would only make her more difficult. She's basically a good kid, so I suppose I shouldn't complain. (But, I'm sure I will again at some point.)
I should be writing or picking up clutter around the house, but I just can't find the motivation to do either. Not doing housework doesn't fill me with too much guilt; not writing does. I had a good flow going on my w.i.p too. If I ever finish it I have to submit it and there's the rub: Rejection. I tell myself I've had enough heart break and having someone say they hate my story would be devastating. I know better. No one is exempt from disappointment and losing Jake shouldn't be an excuse to stop trying. She's at peace and getting lots of attention from my grandmother on the other side. (Oh please let that be true) I think I'm the one who's not at peace. Wow that was a mini epiphany!
Now on to other things.... I would like to try Thursday 13, but right now I'm drawing a blank. I'm one of those people who needs to make an actual list on paper before I commit to it online and the only list I made today was the grocery list. The other bloggers that I visit have great 13's so I'll let them motivate me for next time. There's that word again; Motivate. :0

August is golden

Today is the first day of August and unofficially the final month of summer. I've noticed already that the sun casts a more golden glow in the afternoon. My plants are beginning to fade in the garden, but the sunflowers and sedums are still growing strong and the Glads should be opening any day. It's so dry here and really hot; mid 90's. We need a long all day all night session of thunder showers. Nothing violent, just rumbling thunder and a few lightening flashes, maybe a good 2 inches of rain. August is beckoning, "Come on, last chance to bask in summer's warmth, walk along the shore and wade into the water. Hurry, enjoy my glow before I pass and am just a memory on a winter's day." I will try to appreciate this month's gift of gold

Blessings, Lorianna