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Thank You All for your kindness. A pet is not just a pet. They are family. You get that ,or at least understand how others feel that way. I am very grateful for all of the wonderful people and their fur babies that I have met.
I will get better. I don't think Time really heals all wounds, it just helps them scab over and sometimes, there's a scar. And, even though scars remain they usually fade enough to not be a bother, just a reminder.
I will try to find some happier things to talk about. I have such a cool little camera and I need to find some neat things to take pictures of.
I will try to visit as many blogs as I can over the next few days.
I hope you all are having a lovely summer evening.
HUGS <3
I put new batteries in my camera yesterday and took pictures of what is in my heart. I have a beautiful Iris blooming right now. I don't remember planting it! I don't know it's actual name, so I named it based on it's colors. It is buttery daisy yellow with warm peach infused through it's ruffles. I call it Daisy Peach! I now have a gorgeous flower to remind me of two curly cats. :) My next Iris to bloom will have soft pastel Easter candy colors. Kinda like Jelly Beans. ;) It's also very ruffly and "Princessy " Maybe I will just rename all my flowers to honor my kitty friends!
I lit two candles for some kitties that have gone to the Bridge and for Kitties that are very sick. The little candle is called Angel Kisses. I want to send Angel kisses to everyone in need. The larger one is Vanilla Peach. It smells really nice.
Cricket and Billie wish to send happy kitty thoughts too. Cricket has been a little more affectionate and she really likes the windows being open. Billie is just happy to nap on her plaid scarf with Secret Squirrel.
To be honest this is kind of a hard week looming over me. One year ago, June 4, Tookie went to the Bridge. I still feel her loss so sharply sometimes it takes my breath away. I didn't have a digital camera when I had her, so I can't share pictures of her very well. We have a scanner, but our desktop computer is too old to be compatible with it. She was/is so beautiful.
It's difficult to be the only one still mourning her. I can't really talk about how much I miss her. Usually I get, "I know." or "She wouldn't want you to be sad." Well, duh! She's a kitty. She loved me the best way a kitty could and I loved her enormously. I got her in 1987 and she was all ready around two or three years old. I can't just get over it. I'm tired of feeling sad, but no way am I ever going to stop missing her.
This is how I feel and if I can't say how I feel in my blog, then I don't have anywhere else to go. Okay, probably too intense for a Monday. I do take solace knowing that there are so many in the blogasphere that I know of that would probably feel the same way.
I really hope you all have a lovely first week of June. May the weather be just the way you like it and may you find something summery to enjoy. Hug your kitties and woofies. Even if they are the grumpy sort, they love you too. =^..^=
The mermaid is the work of artist Renae Taylor. I cut out that picture from Fairie Magazine a few months ago, pasted it on posterboard, cut it out again and put clear plastic over it. Then I punched a small hole in the top, threaded a ribbon through and hung the picture from a kitchen cabinet handle. It hangs over the coffee maker. :) I would love to order an actual print from the artist someday.
The mermaid needs her coffee to cause mayhem. Cricket prefers her stinky goodness and crunchies in the morning before she begins a long day of shredding furniture, playing with toys, and napping.
I'm sorry if my blue mood is bumming you out. I don't mean to be a big ball of sad. Warm weather is slow in coming here and even though I love summer I'm dreading the month of June. Tookie went to the Bridge on June 4 last year. I'm just not ready to face the fact that I haven't had my kitty for a year. You all would have loved her. Oh, she was the best! So good natured, really smart and talkative. Please don't think I love my other 3 kitties any less. I love them very much. But, Tookie and I were just so close. I think that cat understood me better than anyone else. It's hard to lose someone like that.
Keeping busy is helping a little. Yesterday I baked a chocolate cake and my husband and I went to the bookstore and out to dinner while my daughter went to movie night at her friend's house. You would think that with all the baking that I do I would weigh 300 pounds. Actually, I'm fairly petite, thanks to RA. Not that an auto immune disease is a recommended way to lose weight mind you, but it does affect my appetite and the low grade fevers I get raise my metabolism. No, I'm not skinny and I really need to tone up! I like baking though. It's creative and the end result makes everybody happy.
Oh, a couple of nights ago there was a f1 tornado west of us in a small county. It moved east through a few more miles before it fizzled out. There was some damage, but no body was hurt. Michigan has 3 seasons; winter, road construction, and severe weather. Sigh.... I need more coffee...
Today is a good day to curl up and read. It's raining right now, which I think is better than snowing. It's supposed to turn to snow later, but I'm pretending that won't happen. Saturday I bought a Hyacinth plant and put it on my fireplace mantle. The living room smells like Spring. When I light my lavender candle later it will really smell like a garden. I'm trying to keep a dark mood at bay. Just the usual stuff; pain, cold weather, feeling bad for people and pets that are hurting, worrying about my little family and really missing Tookie. I could have opened an upstairs window for her yesterday. One of her favorites when she was healthy. I even dreamed that she jumped up into it without any problems. Maybe in Heaven she is sitting in a sunny window, with my Grandmother. I like to think of them together. She would be the one to take care of everyone's kitties. She had the sweetest smile, wavy brown hair and big gray eyes. She was only a little over five feet tall, but she was strong because she washed clothes with an old wringer washer and kneaded and baked her own bread. Yes, I think she is the perfect caretaker for the kitties in Heaven, smiling sweetly, letting them take turns on her lap.
Putting Tookie's picture up was not easy for several reasons. That picture was in our desktop computer as my user icon. My daughter had put in for me about a year and a half ago when our scanner was still working. It's not working anymore, not sure why. I tried to get the picture to use because I figured it was in my pictures folder. It wasn't. It wasn't in shared documents either. I have a lot of pictures of her, 20 years worth, but I couldn't scan any. (Vicious circle that life can be) Well the picture for some reason was in daughter's files and she has her stuff password protected. I asked her to please find it, e-mail it to me, then I would have it in my laptop. She asked why. I told her for my blog. She thinks my blog is depressing. She's right.
As I put it in, first on the side bar and then in the post I started crying. I kept it quiet, sniffled a lot and got a sinus headache. Seeing her spirit leave her body, getting her ashes and pawprint in the mail; that you think would be enough to tell someone it's final, over. Well making a memorial, that's when it hit me again.
I don't have a lot to blog about as far as my daily life goes. I don't lead an interesting life. I write when creativity nudges me, I read a lot, I do some crafting. But, mostly I'm home not feeling well. Every single joint in my body usually hurts on some level. Joints I didn't even know I have. I get fevers, cartilage and soft tissue pain. All of it conspires to leave me tired, cranky and boring.
I have some days that are better than others. Sometimes I can make it out for trips to the book store,or dinner and shopping. Not exciting, but at least it's doing something. I look forward to visiting other blogs and "visiting" with very kind interesting people and their beloved pets. I love the time I spend with my three kitties. They aren't velcro cats like Tookie was, but they give and accept love in their own sweet way and I'm so glad they are with me. =^..^=
I'm not sure when I'll feel better again. I just try to take each day as it comes. Thanks to the nice people who comment here. I appreciate it so very much. I will try not to be so down, but again Miss excitement I'm not. I'm still hoping for a digital camera. I want to share more pictures of Billie, Cody, and Cricket monster.
When we get a new scanner, I will post more pictures of Tookie. She loved the camera and posed like a model whenever I took a picture. Like Daisy without the fashions. Well, that's it for now. I will post again when I think of something interesting.
This is Tookie. Her full name is Jake Tookie Woo. Silly I know, but she loved to hear me sing it out. She was with me from the beginning of Autumn 1987 to June 2007. I can't say more right now. I will continue when I get myself together again.
