Monday, October 6, 2008
My heart is heavy with worry and sadness. Billie is sick. She has several issues. Her kidneys are not functioning properly, she has arthritis in her hips and she has lost some weight. A small tumor was also found on her back. I felt it when she was on my lap last week. The Vet says her immune system and age and small size do not make it easy for her. She has never been the healthiest of kitties and it is thought that she came from a mother that had just been over bred, perhaps even some in breeding. We are in a wait and see and make her comfortable mode now. My husband is concerned about how much it would cost treatment wise. The vet says the tumor looks like a very common benign one and offered to biopsy. She said we could decide what we want to do and to let her know. She knows my husband doesn't want to put a lot of money down after just paying for Toeshee and before that Cody.
Billie is sleeping a lot and will eat a little at a time if I bring it to her. I think Wednesday was her last good day before she started going under the sofa to sleep. She lets me pet her and purrs and in the evenings will come to sit by me on the sofa. The arthritis explains why she has been extra testy with me when I brush her. The Vet does not think it would be a good idea to sedate her to shave her. Maybe if we can get her weight up. It's hard to tell with cats just how much discomfort they are in. She seems content, just irritable and tired. She is on special diet and we have to make sure she is drinking enough water. If she stops eating and drinking we will have to do "sub q".
I have been through this before with Tookie.
I have not been sleeping well and worry has sent me into an RA flare. So, husband says, no more cats. They just cause me heartbreak and the stress is not good for me. I know he means well. He never had pets that he bonded with as a child. He likes my cats, but they are not "kids" like they are to me.
When he was a little boy his dog was hit by a car. His father, "put her out of her misery" by shooting her. They lived in the country and I guess that's how they handled things like that. I'm glad my husband realizes that that's just awful and would never do that!
So, here we are, Billie and me taking one day at a time, watching and waiting and wishing life wasn't so cruel. I am figuring out how to save some pennies just in case she needs the fluids and hopefully the tumor truly is benign.
I have not been blog visiting much, but maybe during the week I can pop by.
I'm saving my tears for when I am by myself. If Billie is ready to go I know, like Tookie, she will let me know. I am just so tired of saying goodbye...